Change, feelings, friends, Life, love, Memories

Washed Away

*THIS POST WAS STARTED ON WEDNESDAY MARCH 23, 2011*

As the rain, sleet, hale and snowflakes hit my windshield, I begin to think about all the different experiences I’ve been through, about all of the friendships  I’ve made and lost, about my experiences and my recent revelations. The main thought I had that evening was CHANGE….

We tend to want to hold on to people, friendships, relationships, material things, jobs……. We know they arent the best for us but because we dont have the courage to let go and move on we would remain quiet about it and be unhappy, knowing that we’re just making things worse.

A few people have told me that I’ve changed, some said for the good, some said otherwise, but I say for the Good,  I’m sorry but my mentality of life should not be the same from 10 years before. I will be 30 on my next birthday, i should not have the same thoughts and goals from when I was 19.

So while I drove around having one of my “thinking sessions” I’ve come to the realization that all of my doubts about changing my old ways of thinking, living, and loving, were being washed away. The people and places I used to associate myself  with were being washed away.

And GUESS WHAT…….. I dont miss any of it! <huge smile 🙂 >

That storm washed away everything I DIDNT need in my life and made way for a new season…….. WHAT ARE SOME THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT NEED TO BE WASHED AWAY?

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Memories, Technology

GO GO GADGET BRITTANY

(Long Live Windows Mobile Phones!)

For all that know me, know that I love gadgets. Especially anything that deals with media; cell phones, video consoles, mp3 players, you name I have it. But you will be surprised to know that out of all my gadgets, my windows mobile phone is my prized possession.

When I heard that Microsoft was launching their Windows Phone 7 in NYC on October 11, 2010, I was super excited. Being a huge fan of Windows-based phones since practically their first one, (Below is my first windows-based phone), I Knew I had to be a part of the launching. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the launching; but I did view it live online.

The Windows Phone series has come a long way since it launched over 10 years ago. I remember when there weren’t any sms messages or a camera, wifi or Bluetooth.  Now you can connect with friends instantly on your home screen, upload photos to various social networks, etc.  Now with various mobile development sites, you can even put different operating systems such as android, meego, linux, and Windows Phone 7 on your windows mobile 6.5 phones. Below is my HTC HD2 running Android 2.2. These abilities are limited on the “other” types of smartphones.

Windows Phones have come a long way, i can’t wait to try out the new Windows Phone 7. I’m still checking out all that my HD2 can do. This is why Windows Phones will always be the Originator =)

feelings, friends, intimacy, Life, love, Memories, poetry

Gotta Get Next To You

Love at first sight, nah I guess it was really lust
Too many eyes and ears to voice my feelings, not knowing who to trust
You were so fine, and smelled so good, huge plus
I gotta get next to you, oh yes, I must
I’m gonna make my move, no turning back from this,
All I really wish, is to be laced by those lips, With a juicy kiss…..
…….just what I expected, like dots we connected,
That kiss was bliss, forgot about our lives being so hectic
Hopefully we can turn this into more than just a side thing
A kiss turning into love, no longer a fling
But until then, I’ll just reminisce about our little time together
A short moment of passion, will remain in my mind forever…

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Let It Go

Why is it so hard to let go?

Why do people think it’s easier to stay?

So they can just endure pain, on top of more pain

And say they will leave “someday”

I’m a firm believer that actions speak louder than words

You can threaten to leave, but make no moves, your words will be unheard

I was in that place thinking “it will get better in time”,

not realizing from jump that I was putting so much on the line,

Weeks became months, months became years, you wouldn’t believe the amount of tears!

I shed some many, only to end up back at square one,

All it took was for ME to realize “enough is enough, I’M DONE!”

Letting go wasn’t so bad, in fact, it was the best thing for me,

I can only imagine if I stayed, how my life would be,

It would be more confusing, more pain, and distress,

too grown for the non-sense, so over all the mess

So whoever or whatever it is that is keeping you off track

Its time to let go, that’s time you cannot get back

feelings, friends, intimacy, Life, love, poetry, Stress

This Race…..

Not up to par, hate this feeling of depression,
Constant thoughts repeat in my mind like an obsession.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? Decisions that need to be made,
Things that shouldn’t be a priority overload and explode my time like a grenade.
Gotta get to the “prize” at the end of this race,
But im letting obstacles I face, take place and slow down my chase.
I’ll make it to the finish line but I gotta stay focused on what really matters right now.
This side mess will only spread, ”stay focused B”, I tell myself, but then I think “How?”
But nevertheless I won’t stress and do what I gotta do,
Because I’ll be the one with the “prize” once this race is through…

-Ms. Brittany ~~~~Written 8/18/2010

Philippians 3:14 (King James Version)

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

feelings, Life, love, Memories, poetry

Heaven’s Angels– Bin Of Memories (Part 2)

Its been 13 years since my Brother -n-Law Larry and my 14 month old nephew Chad (My sister’s husband and son) passed away (July 15,1998). To this day it still pains me and I think about them everyday. I often wonder about what life would be like if they were still here: Larry with a super nice car blasting his music and having even better gadgets than me, lol. Chad would be 14, probably taller than me, playing basketball…..

I cant help to imagine but I know the longer i think about it, the sadder I become…..

Not too long after they passed i wrote a poem about Chad for his 2nd birthday May 6, 1999. I think I was 17 years old. I even did a poem on video for my T.V. Production class in high school.

So Im posting to share with you “Heaven’s Angels (A Nephew Of Mine)”….. LOVE YOU ALWAYS CHAD & LARRY SEGERS……Heaven’s Angel (A Nephew of Mine)

Heaven’s Angel is Cheerful, Joyful

The Sweetest Child you can find

Its no wonder Heaven’s Angel is a Nephew of Mine

He was 14 months Old

And bringing joy to each and every soul

with his cute little smile

and his Heart of pure gold

with soft braids like Bone Thugs

And resembling both his mom and dad

He’s Heaven’s Angel

And his name is “Baby Chad”

God’s most precious Angels

come once in a lifetime

Heaven’s Angel is “Baby Chad”

And he is a Nephew of Mine

Change, feelings, friends, Life, love, Stress

Man In The Mirror

On Thursday I was driving home in my car listening to Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”. While singing along with the chorus, I began thinking about a conversation I had with a friend earlier in the day and also a conversation with another friend last week. To sum up both of the discussions, they were about making changes and moving on to better themselves. I was proud to see that both of my friends were deciding to take control of the situations in their lives and pressing forward to do better.
I definitely can relate to their situations and was honored that they wanted my advice and encouragement. I shared my story of the past 12 months of my life and was able to give ensight on what happened when I began to take control of situations in my life. I spoke to them about how I didn’t give power to my fears but I had my faith overpower my fears.

With that being said, we can live our lives blaming everyone else for things that happen to us, but when will we stop and look at ourselves and say “what is it that I’m doing on my end  that just isnt right?” Though I’m not where I want to be in life right now and there are still some things that aren’t right but I do thank God that I’m not where I was mentally, spiritually, financially or emotionally 12 months ago. So if you want to make YOUR world a better place, take a look at YOURSELF and make YOUR change.

…………RIP Michael Jackson……

“I”m Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change”

feelings, friends, Memories, Throwbacks

My Music, My Life

Music has always been a part of my life. Growing up in a church where my grandfather was the founder and pastor, my aunts, cousins and sister were singers and my late father who played the organ, I had no choice but to embrace music.My father taught a lot of people how to play the keys like my older sisters and brothers. Unfortunately, he passed when I was five months old so never got to hear him play growing up. But how ironic is it that two of my good friends learned how to sing and play the keys from their late mentor, who was taught by my father, Small world, right?

I remember the first time I knew I had some singing skills…I was like nine, ten years old. I would run this same cassette tape – Voices “Yeah Yeah Yeah”. I knew I drove my brothers and sisters crazy! Lol, I even wrote a song called, “No,No,No”. That was the 1st of many songs, poetry and short stories that were to come.

It wasn’t until about 2 years later that I let my friends hear my skills. I was roller-skating with two of my good friends Tamika & Ta-Sheeba and we started singing “Weak” by SWV (Sisters With Voices). Ever since then it was has been nothing but music, music and music.

All throughout Junior High School and High School, I was a part of choirs,  singing groups, and plays. You name it, I’ve done it, including an audition video for Apollo Amateur Night with my friends in the 5th grade. (Real Love – Mary J.)

I was also in a gospel group that just recently disbanded. One of the songs we had (my fav- Total Praise), is attached to this entry. (I’m leading the chorus….) . Even though things didn’t go the way we wanted them to go in the group, it was still a part of my life and I actually still have a connection to the songs….

Though I don’t write songs like I used to, I still sing with my church’s choir, and 2 community choirs.  Music will always be a part of my life and when I have children I will definitely share my love for music with them and hopefully it will be a part of their lives too.

feelings, friends, intimacy, love, Memories, poetry, Throwbacks

Bin Of Memories (Part 1)

While looking through my bin full of my old writing notebooks, I started looking though one of the books. I remember this book the most because it was 2001 and I just moved back from Virginia. I wasn’t quite sure what my next move would be, so I began writing my thoughts and other random things in this book.  I came across a poem I wrote about someone I was dating. To this day this person is a very close friend of mines. I don’t know why this poem stuck out the most when I was looking through the book but I’ve always liked it and so did most of my friends…..I think I got skills lol. So enjoy because this is one of many…..

Sweet Sensation

The way you look at me

The way you hold me

The way you whisper in my ear

The way you tell me how much you love me

The way you show me how much you care

The way we talk on the phone

The way we cuddle when you and I are alone

The way you make me feel

The way our love seems so unreal

The way you wrap your arms around my shoulders

The way I put my head on yours

The way you rub my body

The way I yearn for more

The way you invade my thoughts

The way I want for you to invade me

The way my inner thighs tingle

The way I want you physically

The way I dream about

The way it will be

The touch, the feel, the Sweet Sensation of you inside of me

The smell of your scent

The smell of mine

The smell of our scents together as they intertwine

Our moaning, our panting, our love making, so tender

Passion too good to be true

A dream I want to remember

I can’t wait for the day

That I get to experience you

The way I want to make it known

That I want this dream to come true

Brittany G. Wiggins  (Late 2001/Early 2002)

Stress

STRESS

STRESS…..STRESSSTRESS….What comes to mind when you hear the word STRESS? For me, Stress is a feeling of extreme worry that can affect our normal way of thinking and living.  On the site dictionary.com, one of the definitions for Stress states:

“A specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stress)

Stress is caused by a lot of things; Bills, our jobs or lack of, school, children, family members; the list goes on and on. We stress so much that it affects our bodies. According to Wikipedia, here are some signs of Stress:

“Signs of stress may be cognitive, emotional, physical or behavioral. Signs include poor judgment, a general negative outlook, excessive worrying, moodiness, irritability, agitation, inability to relax, feeling lonely, isolated or depressed, aches and painsdiarrhea or constipation, nauseadizzinesschest pain, rapid heartbeat, eating too much or not enough, sleeping too much or not enough, social withdrawal, procrastination or neglect of responsibilities, increased alcohol,

nicotine or drug consumption, and nervous habits such as pacing about or nail-biting.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stress_(biology))

I’m sure we have all experienced some of these signs. I remember in 2004, I had an extremely bad headache and I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. I called the emergency hotline to my doctor’s office and was told to go to the emergency room. After about 4 hours in the E.R., I was told that my blood pressure was through the roof and was put on bed rest for 3 days.  I think the meds they put me on was making things worst! LOL… but while looking at my head x-rays, they doctors said there was a lot of tension on my brain and that they couldn’t understand how a 22 year old could be so stressed out. I’m thinking in my head “Well let’s see…my finals are coming up and this will determine if I get my Associates, I’m having issues in my personal life trying to decide between two people, I spent more time traveling on trains and buses than I did sleeping….” I knew where the stress was coming from! After I saw my own doctor, I was put on pressure pills for one month. I had to stick to this list of things to eat like steamed broccoli, brown rice, water and I had to avoid (my legal addiction) COFFEE! I did this for 30 days. At the time it actually made me feel better. I didn’t stick to the diet they gave me but a lot of the stress was eliminated.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

There are a lot of things that we can do to eliminate or at least minimize stress in our lives; We can change the way we eat (more fruits and vegetables), DRINK PLENTY OF WATER!!!! We can exercise as well. Having fun and enjoying life is also very important. Life is not all work, work, work! I come from a religious background so I will always recommend attending church services.

And last, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT STRESS OVER SITUATIONS THAT CAN NOT BE CHANGED! Some things you just have to accept and move on. When I reflect over the past 12 months, I saw how when I began to accept things for what they were and not for what I wanted them to be, it made my life much easier.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Links about Stress, Stress Management, Stress Test

  1. How Stressed Are You? http://www.lessons4living.com/stress_test.htm
  2. Mental Health America: Stress,  http://www.nmha.org/go/mhm/2009/stress-signs
  3. The Serenity Prayer http://www.cptryon.org/prayer/special/serenity.html